These are my own words. Words that I actually thought and truly believed. In my ignorance I was reassuring a friend.
I made friends with a group of women who I met at ante-natal classes. We were all expecting our first child and weirdly we were all connected through friendships or husbands. We decided to keep in touch once our babies were born and offered support and reassurance when we wanted it.
Our children were less than a year old and talk turned to the future. A future in which we all wanted more children. One of the group said she was concerned that she couldn’t have anymore children. There were no signs that she couldn’t, she hadn’t had any investigations or any diagnosis or even been trying for very long but she talked about secondary infertility. I had never heard of it.
In my head this sounded absurd. So let me get this right, you’ve just had a baby, it didn’t take long to get pregnant and now you are worried you are infertile? No logic there so she was obviously being ridiculous. Obviously.
I reassured her with my own beliefs and thoughts, my logical medical knowledge- I’m not a doctor but a health professional.”I’m sure it’s fine, you have a healthy baby, you had no problems falling pregnant and you had a normal labour”. She seemed convinced she had this secondary infertility because she had heard of some-one else who had it. To be frank it was a bit annoying and felt she was maybe was just attention seeking. There was no substance to her worries.
So she went on to have second child and she is now pregnant with her third.
Turns out it was me who should have been concerned with secondary infertlity.
I have been diagnosed with it and trying to fall pregant for nearly 5 years. Karma for my thoughts of her being so ridiculous? Lack of knowledge or understanding? Just bad luck? Who knows, but I am one of those people living with secondary infertility.