Everywhere

Early start for me today. London bound. I had a lovely taxi driver who drove me to the train station. He chatted about his family of 4 children-he said it was always fun in his house. The question came, he asked if I was going to have more? Fair enough I know. I was quite open in my answer- we would love more it just hasn’t happened again but we are very happy and lucky to have our daughter. 

He then turned his chat to his sister. She is nearly 40 who has had several rounds of IVF but with no joy. He said she has a good life, good career, good holidays, money to spend and he was sure she was happy. 

Such a different perspective to me. Of course I can’t totally understand how she must feel not having a child but I know she would no doubt swap all the money, holidays and great job to have a child of her own. People like to comfort themselves with these excuses of money etc so that they maybe don’t have to think how people really feel. It’s easy to do this when you have children yourself and maybe have not really known anyone who has gone through this. Or maybe the person going through IVF did not share their feelings. From my own experience I wanted to keep it to myself but at the same time wanted to let people in so they could offer support. 

I feel like most days there are signs telling me to give it another go. But can I handle the heartache and disappointment again? I can handle the medical side it’s just my heart. There are reminders everywhere. 

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