Meds on order 

It’s been decided. After a long consideration and letting thoughts and feelings settle we are going to try IVF again. 

There are already so many emotions. Often conflicting. I’m positive but negative. I’m scared but excited. I feel hopeful but reserved. Im trying not to analyse all of my feelings but they are all definitely there bubbling under the surface. I suppose at least I’m being proactive and that is no doubt a positive step in my journey. 

I’m not scared or worried about the medical side of IVF. The appointments, the injections, the scans- I’m prepared for those. To me that’s the easy part. 

I’m terrified of the heartache and disappointment of it not being successful- like last time. 

This time is different though. We are going to another clinic which has better results. We already feel better supported. The doctor we met was hopeful and clear in the way he explained our situation. The nurses are all willing to spend time and go through any concerns regarding my medication. This is all brilliant and what I need. 

I feel that the news of my sisters pregnancy (which happened soooo quickly) has forced my decision. I want that. We want another baby too. We can’t go on hoping we need to be proactive. So there it is, plain and simple. Meds have been paid for being delivered in the next few days! 

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